A Question Only my Christian Friends can Answer

Okay, so if the Devil is evil and the enemy of God, why does he punish bad people in Hell?

If The Devil was really against God, wouldn't he be nice to the people He has condemned to Hell, instead of doing God's dirty work for him?

And please don't tell me to look this shit up in the Bible, because there is no Devil in the bible. There is an angel ...called Satan in the Book of Job, but he is completely subservient to God

The snake in the Garden of Eden was just a talking snake

Christians said it was the devil centuries after Genesis was written

There is a fallen angel mentioned in the New Testament (though he is never called Lucifer) but he's stuck in Hell being tortured for all eternity. He doesn't run the show himself

So what I'm asking is why do Christians, without even following what's written in their own holy book, believe there's a Fallen Angel that really fucking hates God, but still helps him out by taking care of all the evil people?

Not trolling here, I'm honestly just curious about this discrepancy between what Christians believe the Devil to be, and how he actually acts

My Take On Creationism

 

You can believe in a god.

You can believe in the Judeo-Christian-Islamic God.

You can even believe the world is 6 thousand years old.

 

I don't care.

Really, I don't.

For all I care, you can believe in green polka dot elephants.

As long as it's not hurting anyone, I'm cool with it, even though I might (and when I say might I mean probably) think it's totally stupid.

 

But here's where I draw the line:

When you start demanding that high school science textbooks should include chapters about said green polka dot elephants, or that government funds should go to turning public land into nature preserves for the aforementioned green polka dot elephants THAT is when we're going to start butting heads, bucko.

 

The United States of America was founded on the right to believe stupid things; for instance: slavery.

 

But just because you believe in something stupid, that doesn't mean I or anyone else has to believe in it too.

 

I know you might not think your belief in green polka dot elephants is stupid, but if you can't provide any evidence (not arguments, actual tangible evidence) for the existence of the green polka dot elephants, I have every right to laugh in your face and call you a loon.

 

And that's where I stand on creationism.

I think the letter "W" (Pronounced Double-You) should instead be called "Double-Vee".


I mean really, W does not look like two U's put together, as the name implies.


Here's two U's put together: UU.


See, that doesn't look like a W at all!


Now put two V's together: VV.


Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winnah!


Two V's together look like a "Double-You", so why not just change the name of "W" to "Double-Vee?"


I realize this might seem silly and inconsequential to some, but it's the children I'm thinking of. Think about how their innocent little minds could be corrupted and perverted by the mispronunciation of a letter that should be pronounced "Double-Vee" as "Double-You."
Think about how this will lead to all kinds of delinquent behavior! And pretty soon, they'll all be addicted to meth and prostituting themselves and saying all kinds of naughty swear words like "dang" and "heck" and "cockamamie!"


Is this the kind of post apocalyptic wasteland we want to leave to our children, and our children's children (cause, let's face it, our children ARE going to get pregnant, and there's nothing we can do about it because abortion is sinful, as is masturbation, but I'll get to that in a later post)?


No, I say no!


I refuse to live in a Mad Max-style future, where rabid gangs of bikers in hockey masks roam the deserts (because in the future, all land will be deserts, which will have ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with global warming, no matter what the liberal media would have you believe) fighting each other relentlessly for oil and water!


I refuse to let Comrade Obama destroy everything we hold dear, like our bibles and our guns (not necessarily in that order)!


There's a line we must draw in the sand here, people! And it starts with how we pronounce the letter "W".


It should not be pronounced "Double-You", it should be pronounced "Double-Vee"!


I rest my case.