Getting accosted by a random old guy before a wedding is really weird.
Like, I've had to put up with family members I rarely see (with good reason), but I've never had to make small talk with a spooky drifter.
I mean, was the Ancient Mariner even invited, or is he a wedding crasher?
That's really bad manners, Ancient Mariner.
And then you're going to tell me your whole life story? And we'll just stand around? We aren't even going to bother to sit down at our table or anything?
And that's a really long time to be standing there. By the time the Mariner gets finished riming, the wedding will already be over, Dustin Hoffman will have arrived to break it all up, the couple will have said "I do", the rings would have been exchanged, the cake would have been cut and eaten, leaving none for me.
And all this because I decided to humor a senile senior citizen?
I don't think so!
Go tell someone else your crazy story, Ancient Mariner.
I really want some cake.
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